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Mafia Gazette Past Issue 119
The Mafia Gazette Issue 119 For All The News That Is News Friday 19th January 'LAS VEGAS MADE KILLED IN SHOCK TWIST ' By Randle McMurphy A new twist in the future of Las Vegas occurred on Wednesday as Made Man leader of crime family L’Unione, John_Milton, was gunned down in his home city. The attack began on members of his family as he slept, and escalated into a full-scale gunfight as he arose from his slumber. Several ex-members of TUQ and ASDA were seen in the vicinity, including Al_Dodds, ZadieZadie, Sekro, and MrFestivo, though it is rumoured the only people firing shots were Milton, Ronin, and MrValentine. After recent battles involving Milton, it was assumed he would win the gunfight with no problems, though the battle quickly took an unexpected turn. After a short jail visit, and rumoured assault by somebody only known as “Bubba”, Milton took a shot at Valentine, who killed him in self-defence. Events soon spiralled into anarchy at the funeral of the Vegas Made, with several ex-ASDA and TUQ personnel embarrassing themselves and their family names with their disgusting antics. It has long been a tradition to respect the dead amongst mobsters, and it appears this is one tradition that these families did not teach their members. The future of Vegas crime family L’Unione is uncertain, however the death of Milton’s daughter and heir Elizabeth_Milton fuels rumours of its complete collapse. 'DENVER MADE WOMAN MURDERED OVER INSULT DISPUTE ' By Zinglebert Humptyback After what can only be described as a shaky week for political relationships, Denver Made Woman Pomona was shot dead by John_Milton in a row over an apparent insult made by her in a public speech regarding her occupancy of Denver. It had been rumoured that relationships between the two had been strained for a while, after Milton claimed Denver in a discussion with Albert-Neri on the streets, only for Pomona to move in without warning. Another weight added to the shaky grounds the pair stood on was Pomona’s decision to accept Nino_Salerno into her family. Nino had publically voiced his intentions to kill Milton, and stated that he wouldn’t rest until the deed was done. Reports suggest Milton took offence to this decision, and chose to shoot at Nino regardless, only for the former ASDA member to flee. Nino was later killed in an unrelated incident. The straw that broke the Mobsters back appeared to come when Pomona made a speech in the streets claiming Denver, and claiming her family had always “owned” the city, that she was not “given” it, and nor were there any negotiations for her to stay there. This was instantly queried by people who had been involved in negotiations between her and Milton, and it appeared almost public knowledge that he had in fact given her his “blessing” to stay in the city and claim it as her own. Unfortunately Milton is now unavailable for comment (God rest his soul) although it is reported that he flew into a rage upon hearing the announcement, and immediately moved to Denver and killed Pomona. 'NEW YORK MADE IN KILLING SPREE ' By Gazette Reporter New York Made Man Grave-Despair went on a murderous rampage earlier this week, killing several high-profile members of the community. New York outfit The Conceptualists deny any involvement, and claim the Made was acting on his own will, and not on their behalf. One of his most high-profile kills was LA Made EvilBunny, who had not long given up his family in Miami to rejoin Albert-Neri and the Angels With Dirty Faces. Another casualty was Angel-Islington, although it is believed she was killed by an unknown assailant in jail, and that Grave actually had nothing to do with this death. Grave eventually fell himself, and appears to have left no next of kin, so we are unable to obtain any comment on his behalf. We may never know what drove him to his murderous rampage. 'JAIL RAPES ON THE INCREASE ' By Randle McMurphy A worrying trend is befalling the jails of our great nation, and threatening the inmates incarcerated within them. It is agreed by all that jail is supposed to be a punishment, and a place that any law-abiding citizen should fear being sent, though the threat of rape by other inmates should be the last thing on the mind of any would-be criminals. A gang known only as the “Bubba’s” has been attacking inmates in their cells, and leaving the victims scarred and wounded, both mentally and physically. This wave of sexually-oriented violence has been sweeping the nation, and is thought to originate from the prison population who are currently serving life sentences, as they have little fear of reprisals due to their already massive jail terms. No comment could be obtained from prison officials, though a Police spokesperson added, “This should be just one more incentive for people to obey the law, anything that puts people off from committing crimes can’t be that bad.” 'EDITORIAL ' By Randle McMurphy Dear readers, It’s good to be back. It’s been a while, I had to leave the country over some silly tax mishap, but now I’m back, and more enthusiastic than ever! I’d like to thank our previous Editor, Mr. Milton, for all his hard work, along with all the writers and sources that went into keeping the Gazette warm for me while I was gone. Now, back to business, get those sample articles rolling in, and keep the information free-flowing, we’ve got a paper to run! Looking forward to a long and successful period with the Gazette, Yours, Randle McMurphy 'CLASSIFIEDS ' By Randle McMurphy STAFF WANTED! Yes, The Mafia Gazette is once again recruiting. Regular columnists and feature writers alike, we have positions here for you. Want to work for the original and the best? Then contact Randle McMurphy with a sample article, we’re waiting for your contribution!